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Making friends is aggravating. I'm not gonna lie, I'm a pretty outgoing person. I love talking to new people, making new connections and having stimulating conversation. BUT, I will say that the actual process of making "friends" not just acquaintances isn't fun. Seriously - we just spent forty-five minutes redesigning marketing collateral and writing website copy and we still have a ton of stuff to get done. Can we save the female bonding for when I'm down to one project instead of six?
Who will I vent to? Like most people, I need my vent sessions. Preferably not with people that I'm going to have to spend the entire day with. Are they great people? Yes? Do they need to know how pissed off I am about my job? Heck no.
The only thing we have in common is…our place of employment. Most of the people that I work with graduated college with a degree in physical therapy, majored in exercise science or have endless medical certifications following their name. I am the complete opposite. While I love talking to the people that I work with, there are times when we have absolutely nothing to talk about because we have nothing in common. They eat cottage cheese for breakfast
Do you plan on being there forever? Not that your relationships have to end when your employment at that location does but I find it rather hard to stay in contact with people once I've moved to a different location. While I love the people that I worked with when I was a student assistant on campus, I don't talk to them nearly as much which really kinda sucks.
How do you feel about the idea of "work friends?" Let me know!
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Happy Tuesday everyone! (Yes I know it's Tuesday, yes I know this is still titled Manna Monday - just go with it!) Yesterday, I had this post up and scheduled to go live with another verse that I read about in the "Addicted to Busy" plan that I'm currently reading on the Bible App. Side Note: If you feel like you're always trying to stay busy and it's taking you away from Him, I would seriously recommend you give it a read. Per usual, yesterday I had my own plans but He took over.
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| This gorgeous print can be ordered directly from SheReadsTruth.com! |
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Take it Slow: Most of the people I work with anticipated everything to get better immediately. It takes time. A brand new company means a brand new group of people and new processes. Getting the hang of those changes is going to take some time so don't expect for everything to go right in the first week or even month of a transition.
Avoid "Warrior Mode": Like I mentioned early, a new company means new people to work with. With not against. These people have been doing things their way for years. Every company has their own way of working so reaffiliating with new management changes the way everybody is going to get things done. Avoid resorting to warrior mode and try to compromise.
Keep Your Attitude in Check: When you're caught in the middle of a huge change, it's very easy to get upset. Trust me. Not being able to see what's on the horizon or even the light at the end of the tunnel is infuriating, especially for control freaks like me. However, that doesn't mean you can take it out on the rest of your coworkers. Now is not the time for smart-mouthing or sarcastic comments. Maintaining a positive attitude shows that you can work well in uncomfortable situations and your employer will appreciate you keeping everyone looking on the bright side!
You're Not In This Alone: EVERYONE is going through the same thing you are. Be open and honest with your boss about your questions or concerns. I spent at least three weeks scared to ask my supervisor about the transition. I knew I wouldn't lose my job but what else was in store? Would my job duties be the same? Who else am I working with? After weeks of stressing, I opened up to her about my frustrations. Surprisingly, she was just as curious. Even though she couldn't answer a majority of my questions, she reassured me that anything she learned about our positions would be shared with me. It was reassuring to know that someone had the some concerns as I did.
How do you adjust in times of transition? What tips do you have for people going through the same thing?
- 8:30 AM
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In the past, my walk
with Christ has been a very slow one...almost crawling to be honest. I grew up
in your typical southern churchgoing family background: my grandma took me to
church with her, my mom took me to church with her so naturally I just thought
that going to church was the answer. Not necessarily "church" but
literally going to church. College changed all of that for me.
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First and foremost, stop hitting "Snooze." I too find it
incredibly hard to drag myself out of my comfy bed at 6:45 in the morning but I
try my hardest not to hit snooze. Here's why: when you hit snooze and roll over
for another 10 minutes of shut-eye, your body starts to re-enter sleep mode. There's
no possible way that your body can get any true rest from 10 minutes because
you're entering into a sleep that you can't finish. Which is why you feel so
groggy and exhausted when you actually do get up and end up needed two cups of
coffee just to make it to 10 o'clock. Move that alarm clock across the room so
that you absolutely have to get up. You'll hate it for the first five minutes
but you'll set you body up for success!
Start your day with something you love. Every
morning, I turn my television to TNT and watch half an episode of
"Charmed" before I go to work. (Yes, it's weird. Nope, don't care.)
It's been one of my favorite shows since I was seven or eight. Even though I've
seen all of the episodes, I still watch it every single morning. Why? Because
I'd rather start my day off with something I like than sluggishly get dressed.
TV just happens to be mine so find yours! Turn on some music, listen to a
podcast - expose yourself to something that you really like before making your
way to work.
Make a couple
minutes to read over your to-do list. If
you're anything like me, you have lists on top of lists on top of lists in your
planner. I've condensed the number of lists to one or two per day so I'm
getting there. But what really helps is actually seeing what I've got to do
first thing in the morning. Normally, as I am doing my hair, I start looking
over my list from the day before. Actually seeing what I have to do that day
puts me in the mindset to be productive.
Grab something for breakfast. I personally can't eat breakfast at 7 AM and
last until noon or 1 o'clock for lunch. It just ain't happening. But I will
grab a yogurt or make an omelet to eat when I get to work an hour later. They
(whoever they are) don't say breakfast is the most important meal in the day
for nothing. Get your body ready to take on the day! You can run only so far
without something to break your fast (get it?) and two cups of coffee doesn't
count.
Pray or meditate and catch up. I have read many
articles that say you're supposed to pray or meditate as soon as you wake up.
Well guess what? As soon as I wake up, all I care about is making it to work on
time. Not to say that I don't value and love my time with The Lord, but first thing
in the morning, I find it really really
hard to concentrate on my scripture. That's why I save this moment for my car
ride. It takes me about 20 minutes to get to work. I spend half of that time
either praying or thinking about the message on Sunday. The other half is spent
reading theSkimm
or listening to a podcast or radio show. I think it's pretty important to know
what's going on in the world so I always try to stay in the know!
Right before you
walk into work or class - it's time for a pep
talk. My pep talk consists of two deep breaths and me saying:
"Kayla, you're the shit. So don't take anyone else's. But be nice because
you still have bills to pay." Selfish and conceited are two completely
different things. Liking yourself and encouraging yourself is totally
necessary! Compliment yourself and hype yourself up before going to starting
your day.
What's part of your
morning routine?
- 10:30 AM
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Happy Friday (hold the 13th) loves! Today, my dear friend Angela has taken over my blog with a mini makeup haul! While I love my lipsticks, getting the rest of the face to look flawless has always been a struggle. She's always been much better at it than I have :) Keep reading for her must have products and let us know some of yours!
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- The Need to Impress - Even a task as simple as making an excel spreadsheet become's daunting. You're constantly wondering if you're doing everything right or if your boss is impressed. Sometimes doing what you've always done just doesn’t seem like enough. Sometimes you feel dumb for asking questions and even start questioning yourself. Advice? Just be confident in your abilities. Whether you're just starting out or you've been at your job for a few months, rest assured that you were hired for a reason. Plus, asking the right questions (not repetitive ones that have already been answered) shows that you care about your job - that's a good thing!
- Bills Get Worse - I've never been in a situation where my family covered my finances. In the six years that I've had a cell phone, my mom has paid my phone bill twice. (Once when I had a Pay-As-You-Go phone and when I got a new phone, you had to pay one month upfront.) My mom has paid my rent once and even then I paid her back. So, hearing that bills get worse from a girl like me is not a joke. Car insurance, life insurance, 401(k) deductions, dental & vision insurance - they hit you like an anvil in a Warner Bros. cartoon. Let the stress flood in. Advice? Get your finances in order! Create your own budget and get money smart. Being financially literate will help you tremendously in the long run.
- Is this Really What I Want to Do? There have been a lot of twists and turns in my current position and sometimes being thrown into such crazy situations will stress you out. Internships will teach you a lot and I'm extremely thankful for all of those opportunities but nothing will give you the experience that you get from being on the job. A majority of my friends are in graduate school, earning Master's degrees and doing co-ops. I'm so grateful that I have a job that originally allowed me to grow as a professional, but I would be lying if I said that I don't miss being in the classroom. Most recent graduates who starting working right out of college are wondering the same thing. Advice? Do your research. Since I’m also in this predicament, I can tell you that I've been doing exactly that. Not only looking into other job opportunities but at graduate programs as well. I'm definitely not saying that I wanna leave my job, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with keeping your options open.
Are you currently stressed out in your current first job? What's stressing you and how do you cope? Let's help each other out!
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A 2014 study showed that black women are the most educated group in the United States, outranking every other race and gender in college enrollment. If you are a woman of color, you already know that you've had two strikes against you since birth. We still have many (many many) steps to take before we are even close to an equal playing ground with our white, male counterparts, but this is a step in the right direction, right? There shouldn't be anymore obstacles to overcome after we pass race and gender, right? Hate to break it to you, but there's someone new on the pitcher's mound so be prepared for strike three.
The term ageism was coined in 1969 to define the stereotyping and discriminating against individuals or groups on the basis of their age. In that time, the term referred specifically to older individuals who had spent decades in the workforce. Now, millennial's and generation Y can look forward to another closely tied concept called reverse ageism. Yup, that's right. Along with overcoming obstacles based on race or ethnicity and gender, let's go ahead and add age into that as well. For my non-WOC readers, don't feel left out - this will definitely affect you as well.
According to an article from the Wall Street Journal, many employers are adopting a "last in, first out" policy to prevent age-discrimination lawsuits. Increasingly so over the last few years, the majority of those being laid off are younger employees. "While no age group is exempt from layoffs, younger workers seem to be shouldering a larger percentage of the burden, according to recent Labor Department figures," WSJ notes.
Not only is this in regards to layoffs, reverse ageism happens even in the workplace. In the measly six months that I've been employed full time, I would have to say that someone brings up my age at least four or five times a week. Whether asking if I've seen a movie that came out at any point in the 90s or referencing my "millennial-like" lingo, I am always aware that I am new to the grown up table. Try as I might to adapt to my coworkers way of thinking, I've realized that I just don't fit in. Never mind the fact that I am one of two African American's that I see on a daily basis.
My boss, who is dreading her upcoming thirty-first birthday, is the one who I feel youngest around. In an office surrounded by physicians who've spent nearly two decades at the practice, the person who makes me feel most self conscious about myself is a staggering nine years older than me. Every time she says something, I think to myself "why does it matter if I know who Jem & the Holograms are? Isn't it more important that I know how to update a website or write a press release?" Not really. She may joke about it (often) and laugh it off, but what it really comes down to is relatability. Can I identify with you? Can I relate to you? I'm not expecting getting the boot anytime soon but understanding how reverse ageism could affect me not only as a millennial but as a female, African American millennial definitely has me on my P's & Q's.
Have any of you experienced reverse ageism in the workplace? What are your thoughts on the concept as a millennial just entering the workforce? I'd love to hear what your thoughts!
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At first I was a little hesitant about making one of these wishlist posts - why would anybody care about what I want for my birthday or Christmas or whatever. Then I started thinking: since this is my little corner of the universe (or Internet, whatever), I'm going to post about whatever I like and since I celebrate the entire month, why not start with my wish list?
"Simone" Warby Parker Glasses: Although I wear my contacts pretty often, a new pair of glasses always makes me feel like a brand new person. Kind of like Peter Parker when he puts on his spidey suit. Aside from the fact that these frames are really cool and vintage looking, I love the fact that for each pair purchased, they donate a pair to someone in need. Such good looking glasses at a great price with an even better cause is definitely on my list. They're even named after me ;)
NYX Matte Lipstick in Maison: okay so I should probably take this off the list because I just bought it while typing up this post, but I absolutely love this color. It's so gorgeous and the perfect brown-ish nude for my skin color. At only six bucks, it's quite a steal.
Tan Plaid Blanket Scarf: I love blankets. I equally love scarves. I obviously need this. Plus I get really bad coughs from time to time. I need something to snuggle in.
Denman Medium Classic Styling Brush: In the process of transitioning from relaxed to natural hair, I've been watching a ton of YouTube videos and reading too many blogs to name. However, the one factor that most of them have is the fact that they all mention how amazing this brush is for detangling and defining curls. It's a little on the pricey side...which is why I'm hoping to get it for my birthday or Christmas!
kate spade new york Gold-Tone Pavé Elephant Bangle Bracelet: I'm not normally a bracelet person but it matches my watch and it's got an elly so I want it. (Was that really childish? Oh well, it's my birthday.)
"Like A Boss" Mug": Coffee is a part of my daily routine and I'm always looking to expand my mug collection. When I was younger, I hated gold but now I would pick it over any other color. It's pretty obvious that I need it, huh?
Merona Riding Boots: There's no rule that says a girl can have too many boots right? Because I absolutely love them and I'm in need of a new pair. I've already got the staple black pair and the staple brown pair so of course a combination of both is next in line.
Are any of my followers November babies as well? What's on your birthday list? Let me know!
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My current boss turned 30 less than a week after I turned 21. Aside from the fact that she's my boss, I don't see her as being much older than myself. She binge watches Pretty Little Liars, shares my love of wine and spends half of the summer lounging by the pool. I probably wouldn't even notice that I was so young if she didn't mention something about her age every other day. Oh and my work environment doesn't help too much either. I’m surrounded by people who've been at the company for at least five years, are married with children and own their homes. It's hard not to be known as the kid in the office. In the last five months, I've learned a LOT about being an adult and about being recognized as one as well. Here are my tips on how to be recognized as an adult when you're clearly not old enough to have a mortgage:
- For Goodness Sake, Sit up Straight: body language is one of the most important giveaways. Young people have a tendency to slouch, which gives a "submission" effect. When I'm sitting across from my boss and she's asking me to work on something, I subconsciously slouch. Hunched shoulders and big puppy dog eyes make you look like a kid. I'm not saying posture is the end all, be all, but give it a try and tell me it doesn't make you feel more sophisticated.
- Language Is Just as Important as Body Language: Unless the sentence is a simile, try your hardest to refrain from overusing the word "like." It's really hard, I know. But one thing that my boss encouraged me to work on during my 3-month evaluation is stepping up my professionalism in the speaking department. Hearing the words "like" or "cute" over and over again is not only really annoying, it makes you sound like Alicia Silverstone from Clueless. You are not Cher. Stop it. Oh and believe me, I'm being just as mean to everyone as I am to myself. (After my boss pointed out that I say "BRB" and "probs" on a daily basis, I had to make some lifestyle changes.)
- Dress for the Job You Want: I love dressing up. Heels, jewelry, dresses - the whole nine yards. I'm not a fashionista like Zaria from A Dose of Fab, but I do what I can. Working in a semi-medical environment, most of my coworkers wear scrubs and sneakers. However, most of the other administrative people wear similar clothes to what I wear. Recently, I got my own cubicle space located near the physician offices. Which means that now, I am surrounded by people in comfy shoes and stretchy pants. Do I feel out of place walking in 4-inch heels and business casual dresses? Extremely. But guess what? You dress for where you want to be, not for where you are. Sure, I could get away with throwing on oxfords and dressy-ish pants, but I'd rather be recognized for my professional and dressy attire.
- Understand the Company Culture: At this company, we always have meetings. We have meetings to prep for meetings and sub-committee meetings to plan the agenda for the prep meetings. Personally, I hate meetings. However, I understand that if I need to talk to someone important, chances are they will be at the meeting. There's a 50% chance I'll catch them at their office but there's a 100% chance they'll be at the meeting. If said person only responds to emails, don't leave them a sticky note on their desk or a voicemail. Understanding how to communicate with the individuals in your workplace show that you have a greater understanding of the organization and, yes, are an adult with sound communication skills. It might not seem like a huge deal but when you're trying to coordinate company-wide events, those things are important.
- Be an adult! Gone are the days of partying every single night. (Every other night should suffice by now, guys.) Coming to work with a hangover is not only unattractive, it shows everyone you work with that you're just another college kid, even if you graduated a whole 6 months ago. You don't have to watch CNN every day to stay up to date on current happenings! theSkimm is an excellent resource for getting the news. Be open-minded: if you're in a workplace where everyone is at least nine or ten years older than you, there is a huge age gap. Open your mind to understanding their viewpoints. While you might not agree wholeheartedly, you've just showed your coworkers that you can have an intelligent conversation without pouting and having a temper tantrum. That, my friends, is adult-like behavior and kudos to you.
Are you the youngest at your job? How do you get your coworkers to see past your age?
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As a member of the Broke College Students Club (and the Broke Recent Grads Club), the hesitation that comes when people start talking about money is well-received.
“You want me to pay how much for this conference?”While one might think that going the frugal route is best, consider this: If you didn’t invest in a house, would you have the wealth that comes with homeownership? If you didn’t invest in a car, how would you get to and from interviews so that you can eventually pay your monthly payment or service? Thus, we have to ask – If you don’t invest in yourself, how will you become successful?
“Why do I have to get a new pencil skirt? This knee-length bodycon skirt looks just like it!”
“I am not paying thirty bucks to attend a networking event – I network at free events all the time!”
To read the full post, visit StylingSoul.com.
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